“Ten Surprises About the
Unchurched
Understanding their Hearts and Minds”
by Dr. Thom
Rainer
Over the past few years, I have been privileged to enter a world that I really
did not know very well. It is the world of the unchurched. Now, like many Christians,
I have interacted with the unchurched, worked with the unchurched, socialized
with the unchurched, and witnessed to the unchurched.
But I have been a Christian for more than 30 years. I really did not understand
the hearts and the mindsets of the unchurched until recently.
For the past three years, my research team and I have been involved in
extensive and intensive interaction with the unchurched. We have come with our
computers and pre—planned questions, but many times we would just sit back and
listen for hours.
Our team has covered all 50 states and
We have been among a diversity of ethnic groups and socioeconomic groups. We
have been in wide—ranging demographic areas, and we have talked to as many females
as males. We have listened to the unchurched with modest education, and we
listened to the unchurched with doctoral degrees. We have indeed listened for
thousands of hours.
A team of 17 men and women gave not only their time, but their hearts to this project.
You will hear some fascinating information that we gleaned from our time with
the unchurched.
Surprises and Then Some
In this two—part series, we will present 10 of the surprises our research
uncovered about the unchurched. Now we understand that a surprise is only a
surprise in the eyes of the beholders. But the information you are about to
read defies the conventional wisdom about the unchurched. In many ways, it goes
against the grain of some “truths” we have been told.
Our research project involved 308 men and women in the
Surprise
No. 1
Most of the
unchurched prefer to attend church on Sunday morning if they attend. Perhaps
the unchurched responded this way because that is the time they have always
heard church should be. But when we asked the formerly unchurched (new
Christians attending church) the same question, they gave us the same response.
A very distant preference was a weeknight service other than Friday night.
“If
I attended church, it would be the only time I could go regularly,” said Al V.
of
Are there any groups that prefer a day of worship other than Sunday among the
unchurched? Though their number is relatively small, single adults and adults
who must work on Sunday seem to prefer Saturday evening worship as a fairly
strong second choice to Sunday morning.
“It’s tough to start a habit of doing something you’ve never done before.”
-Mary G.
Sarasota, Fla.
Surprise
No. 2
Most of the
unchurched feel guilty about not attending church. Though we
did not ask a specific question about their feelings about not attending
church, the majority of the unchurched expressed guilt in different ways.
These guilty feelings were especially prevalent among adults who had children
living at home.
“Every Sunday morning I wake up and feel terrible about not taking Shanna and Tim to church,” Mary G. of
So, if they feel guilty, why did the unchurched continue to avoid church? As
strange as it may seem to a churchgoing Christian, the church intimidates the
unchurched person. They do not think they can fit in a place they have never
attended. And they are uncertain about church protocol. They just fear that
they will feel out of place.
Is there anything that could get the unchurched to attend church? That answer
led us to the next surprise.
Surprise
No. 3
Ninety—six
percent of the unchurched are at least somewhat likely to attend church if they
are invited. Perhaps we need to pause on this response.
Perhaps we need to restate it. More than nine out of 10 of the unchurched said
they would come to church if they were invited. If you glean anything from this
article, please remember this point.
We estimate that 160 million people in the
What constitutes an invitation? For many of the unchurched, it was a simple
invitation to come to one’s church. For others, it was an
invitation that included an offer to meet someone at church to
show them around or walk them in the building. In either case, the process was
pretty basic. If we invite them, they will come.
We who are leaders in the church must challenge the church members. When is the
last time they invited an unchurched person to church? When is the last time
they offered to meet someone and show him or her around the church?
The next obvious question is: Are Christians inviting non—Christians
to church? The heartbreaking answer is “no.” Only 21 percent of active
churchgoers invite anyone to church in the course of a year. But only 2 percent
of the church members invited an unchurched person to church. Perhaps the
evangelistic apathy so evident in many of our churches can be explained by a
simple laziness on the part of church members in inviting others to church.
Walk with me through one more calculation. Let us suppose that, instead of
96 percent, only half of the unchurched in
We who are leaders in the church must challenge the church members. When is the
last time they invited an unchurched person to church? When is the last time
they offered to meet someone and show him or her around the church? The answers
they give could make the difference in the eternal destiny of a person. Perhaps
it is time we sounded the clarion call to invite the church.
It may be that simple, and it may be that profound.
Surprise
No. 4
Very few of
the unchurched had someone share with them how to become a Christian. And
Christians have not been particularly influential in their lives. The surprise
is no longer a surprise in light of the previous discussion. If Christians do
not invite non—Christians to church, we cannot be
surprised if they do not share the gospel with or influence the unchurched.
I wish my readers had the same opportunity we had to listen to these unchurched
persons. If you could have heard how many of the unchurched are waiting on
someone to explain the way of salvation, you might have a whole new outlook on
reaching these people. You might be surprised that, when some Christians may
think “the time is just not right,” the unchurched are wondering why we are so
reticent.
Surprise
No. 5
Most of the
unchurched have a positive view of pastors, ministers and the church. Only a
few said the ministers are hypocritical, only after money, always drive nice
cars, and have a condescending view of others. The scandal of the
televangelists and other Christian leaders is a faded memory for most of the
unchurched. And for those who still have vivid recollections of the tainted
past, most do not believe that all pastors and ministers are like their fallen
brethren.
Perhaps
even more surprising was the generally positive attitude the unchurched had
toward the church. For the vast majority of the unchurched, the church is still
relevant today. Indeed many of them perceive the church to be the most relevant
institution in society today.
This surprising response then begs another question. If the unchurched see the
church in a positive light, and if they perceive the church to be relevant, why
are they still unchurched?
The answer seems to be twofold. First, some of the unchurched have visited
churches, but their experiences have been negative. Unfriendliness, unkempt
facilities, poor signage, and general confusion have been some of the
descriptions about the church from the unchurched.
What is amazing is that most of these men and women still view the church
positively after a negative experience. These men and women tend to be a
forgiving lot, even if they are hesitant to return to church.
But the second reason for their not attending church takes us back to the third
surprise. Most of the unchurched have never been invited to church.
And most of them would attend if invited. If you get nothing else from this,
hear the main point. The unchurched must be invited to church.
What’s Important
The unchurched are interested in sincere overtures
from those who witness to them about Christ.
Surprise
No. 6
Many of the
unchurched have a church background. From the most recalcitrant unchurched
person we encountered to the most receptive, many have some type of church
background.
Some had previously been members of churches and left for various reasons.
Others visited one or more churches for a season. Still others were taken to
church as children.
The point is simple. Do not assume that all unchurched persons are clueless
about the church. A majority can recall many years of church in their past.
The reasons they left the church are numerous. Some had negative experiences.
Others who went as children dropped out when their parents dropped out. And a
number of unchurched tried church but left unimpressed
and inspired.
Conventional wisdom about the unchurched suggests that these men and women are
total strangers to the church. Such is not the case with the majority of the
unchurched.
Surprise No. 7
Some types
of “cold calls” are effective; many are not. A debate persists in the Christian
community about the effectiveness of cold— call evangelism. The definition of “cold
call” is simply “uninvited.” The type of cold—call evangelism most often
resisted by the unchurched is an uninvited visit to their homes.
I really don’t mind talking to people from churches. But please don’t show up
at my home without an invitation. It reminds me of telephone solicitation, only
worse!”
—Roger S.,
Wisconsin
“I really don’t mind talking to people from churches,” Roger S. of
The formerly unchurched agreed. These new Christians said that unexpected
visitors in the home were rarely welcomed.
Sarah F. of a small town in
But not all cold calls are ineffective, the unchurched told us. We heard
numerous stories about Christians who always seemed to be able to share their
faith in casual conversations. They were not invited by the unchurched to talk
to them, but these churchgoers often seemed to find a way to move a
conversation to eternal issues.
“Eric is a trip,” Peter W. of
it. Most of the church people I know act like they are ashamed of what they
believe.”
The bottom line of cold—call evangelism seems to be to make the most of every
opportunity God gives you. Pray for such opportunities. But showing up at
someone’s home without an invitation was one of the biggest turnoff s
articulated by the unchurched.
“I would be glad for church people to come talk to me in my home,” said Millie
B. of
Surprise
No. 8
The
unchurched would like to develop a real and sincere relationship with a
Christian. Our study of the unchurched continued during 2001 and 2002 with a
noticeable intermediate point of Sept. 11, 2001. The attack on our nation that
day engendered many questions from American citizens, and many of the questions
were about God. Though the door was
open for Christians to develop relationships with non—believers
before Sept. 11, the opportunities increased after that infamous day.
Most of the unchurched can easily tell the difference between ‘drive by’
evangelism and a person who really cares.
-Twyla Fagan,
research team leader
The leader of our research team, Twyla Fagan, stated
this issue clearly to me in a memo she wrote about the progress of our research
project:
“Most of the unchurched that the team is interviewing would respond positively
to a ‘genuine’ Christian who would spend time with them in a gentle, non—judgmental
relationship.”
Twyla continues, “Most of the unchurched can easily tell
the difference between ‘drive—by’ evangelism and a person who rally cares.”
I learned how to share my faith by reading “Evangelism Explosion” by D.
James Kennedy. The manner in which Dr. Kennedy taught me how to start a
conversation with a non—believer, and the way he
taught me how to share
a biblical plan of salvation are infinitely invaluable to me.
Kennedy’s book is one of the more popular training tools in personal
witnessing. It belongs to a category of tools sometimes called “canned evangelism.”
The label “canned evangelism” is unfortunate because it implies an uncaring,
notch—belt approach to evangelism.
But the book originated from the heart of a man who is passionate about the
lost and deeply concerned for the unchurched. When Christians used a canned
evangelism tool to witness to the unchurched with no obvious concern for the
person, the unchurched immediately detected this impersonal approach.
“I had some people come to see me from the Baptist church just three blocks
from here,” Monte G. of Baltimore told us. “I felt like they were meeting a
soul quota with me. They just wanted to spill their presentation and move on.
But I would’ve been happy to talk with them for a long time if I thought they
really cared.”
The “soul quota” use of canned evangelism tools is neither the intent nor the
desire of those who created these programs. But many of the unchurched quickly
recognized the abuse of these good tools.
I had some people come to see me from the
-Monte G.,
If
we who call ourselves Christians really believe that a person is lost outside
of salvation through Christ, we would make the lost and the unchurched one of
our highest priorities. And if we really had broken hearts for these unchurched
persons, we would take whatever time is necessary to get to know them and to
share the love of Christ in word and deed.
Winning the lost and reaching the unchurched is really no big mystery. There
are millions of these men and women waiting for one of us Christians to spend
time with them and to show them we really care. Jesus desired that none would
perish. In this midst of his packed schedule, He took time to show His love to
sinners. Are we willing to do likewise?
Surprise
No. 9
The
attitudes of the unchurched are not correlated to where they live, their ethnic
or racial background, or their gender. The unchurched are not a monolithic
group. That reality came through with the wide variety or responses we
received.
One cannot therefore expect a certain attitude from an unchurched person from
The only pattern where we saw any correlation was related to income. The higher
an individual’s income level, the more resistant to the gospel he or she is
likely to be. Jesus Himself warned us of the power of money to be like a god to
us: “Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a
needle, than for a rich man to enter the
Surprise
No. 10
Many of the
unchurched are far more concerned about the spiritual wellbeing of their
children than themselves. A few years ago my research team and I studied the
Bridger generation, those born between the years 1977 and 1994.
We discovered a large unchurched population among these young people, but we
also discovered a generation highly receptive to the gospel.
In my consultation ministry with the Rainer Group, I have found that churches
that are highly intentional about reaching youth and children tend to be among
the most evangelistic churches in
And now, in this research project, we found that the unchurched with children
at home are deeply concerned about the spiritual welfare of their children,
even if they articulate little concern for themselves.
Perhaps in our encounters with these unchurched persons, we need to mention
their children. Perhaps churches in
more closely the words of the Savior, who exhorted us to
let the children come to Him.
Copyright C 2003 by Dr. Thom Rainer. Used by
permission. <http://www.ChurchCentral.com> www.ChurchCentral.com